i have no butt!

it got a bit more little.
im thinking about taking the webco to the bbp and start riding the free bike.
then maybe one day i can get an awesome hybrid bike like those giants.
half cruiser, half mountain bike!

in other news,
i went to a bear bar last night.
many nice people-
not many bitchy queens...
hence the bear bar.
:)

panic at the relaxing

drop of calm is kicking my brain in the nutz.
i have anxiety i cant do it right.
im just waiting to mess something huge up.


slow down...
what is the point of this place?
to relax.
so relax the fuck up already.


its ok.
i can screw it up,
and the inspectors will tell me,
and they will tell me how to fix it.

guache...
air in,
air out,

time speeds by in the
form of a neon snake.
Massive delusions?
Very probably.
I fear for my safety.
He is as weak as his fellow man.
I am now surrounded by hypocrites, liars, drunks,
clowns, fools, sycophants and the desperate.
I insist we barter with the moon to sell the patient's cohesive lyrical maps
in exchange for a vision of the future.
Stricken with grief, I have no choice but to turn to lethal toxins
Hardcore Punk Paste.

now is the time

to sing love songs to yourself

to eat cookies in bed

to join a bowling league

to eat health foods

to take the dogs to the park

to guache

to relax your balls

to reread old bloggs

to set goals

to remember the world you want to live in

to live for yourself

it takes one to know one!

im sleepy!

i always get these great ideas,
just before i sleep,
and then they disappear while my brain goes into hallucination palaces.

words stick together and i wane poetic phrases.
they dont stay,
but float like hound dogs on the french moors.
the scent of greatness in the air,
frantically chasing the dream of language.
dissolving like sugar cubes into the mist of sleep.

the good, the bad, and the ugly.

the good:

dog park

the bad:

twilight

the ugly:

codependency

float jobs

floating is good.
not great for my hair.
but great for my mind and body

i dont have the key to lifes success.
but i am not stressing out about finding it right now.

i dont look great,
but its a hell of a lot better than i have been.
somehow... not as stressed?
calm even?

its not the smoke

its the sawdust in my boogers that is killing me.
the smoke just makes it worse.
visibility on the boulevard was up to three miles today.
better than yesterdays 2.

the world at small

things are not content in my heart.
there is turmoil.
but there is hope.

you probably think this post is about you, dont you?

i am learning about me.

the world at large

as mr zoolander once said,

who am i?

the answer.

i dont know.